Losing the interest of the person you love doesn’t come in one dramatic swoop. It happens slowly, due to a series of small things that you might not think are noteworthy. But, little do you know, they leave emotional scars that can drive someone away, bit by bit.
Research tells us that there is a long process of losing interest in a relationship that usually involves a set of annoying little things. So what are these little things that turn partners against each other? Here are 10 of them.
1. Takes You for Granted
No one wants to feel used, especially not in a relationship. A person who doesn’t feel appreciated or thanked will eventually lose all interest in being with you. Taking your partner for granted is a huge mistake, because to show appreciation is one of the basic pillars of a good relationship.
2. Constant Criticism
Criticism doesn’t mean a lot, unless it’s directed at your partner. Saying things such as I don’t love you anymore or “you’re so selfish” are the kind of things that make a person pull away from you. Psychologists claim that an atmosphere of criticism is extremely toxic and makes people withdraw themselves, so don’t take your partner for granted and learn to say nice things.
3. Constant Talking without Listening
Listening is a vital part of a conversation. If you always do the talking and never make time for listening to what your partner has to say, then you’re making a huge mistake. Being in a constant state of talking without listening is a great way to drive a person away.
4. Always Talks about Money
Talking about money does nothing but put pressure on a relationship. When a person finds themselves in a constant state of bickering about money matters, it’s only going to push them further apart. It’s a fact that a healthy relationship needs a healthy flow of finances, but this doesn’t mean that you should make the whole point of your relationship your budget.
5. Disrespectful When Arguing
Insulting your partner or calling them out when you two are arguing doesn’t only hurt their ego – it puts a strain on your relationship. If you’re constantly disrespectful of your partner, then it’s a surefire way to eventually push them away. Disrespectfulness is a sign that your relationship isn’t headed anywhere good.
6. Too Controlling
Checking your spouse’s phone without their permission or having them report to you about everything they do throughout the day is a controlling and unhealthy way to act in a relationship. Being controlling is a huge mistake, because it not only puts pressure on your partner, but it makes them want to run in the opposite direction.
7. Constant Comparisons to Other People
Constantly comparing your relationship to others is a great way to lose your partner’s interest. Whether you compare it to your friend’s relationship or to your exes’, it will eventually hurt your own. It makes one wonder if you’re actually capable of loving someone as much as the person you’re comparing them to, which can be a devastating blow to one’s self-esteem.
8. Never Makes Efforts
Relationships are a lot like any other kind of bond – they require constant effort from both sides in order to thrive and flourish. Not making efforts to see your partner or to call them every now and then is a surefire way to lose them. Experts tell us that if one person in the relationship is constantly putting in effort while the other doesn’t do anything, it’s only going to lead to disaster in the long run.
9. Always Brings Other People into the Discussion
Discussing your relationship with others might seem harmless, but it’s actually yet another big no-no if you want to keep your partner. If you always bring other people with you into your relationship, it might lead to disastrous consequences. You may find your partner pulling away from you more and more, since they feel like you don’t have enough faith in them.
10. Never Addresses Concerns
Nobody expects you to change who you are as a person for the sake of a relationship, but never addressing concerns that your partner brings up is a huge mistake. It puts a strain on your relationship, because it makes your partner feel as if you don’t actually care about them. It’s healthy to grow and change as a person, but if you never grow and change then your relationship won’t survive for long.
The Bottom Line
These are the things that slowly drive partners away from each other. They start off as little annoying quirks that you might not realize are a big deal, but eventually they accumulate into major issues. Experts tell us that the detachment of a person from a relationship goes through three stages – detachment (when they begin to feel that their expectations aren’t being met), aggravation (when they begin to feel angry at you), and then finally resignation (when they give up and become uninterested). The good news is that you can prevent further damage by addressing the problems and making an effort to improve the relationship.
Source; Mynewsgh.com
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