“I Am Lost” — Nigerian Man’s Secret Relationship in Germany Threatens His Marriage1

A Nigerian man has publicly shared a deeply personal account of how a concealed romantic relationship in Germany has placed his marriage on the brink of collapse after his wife discovered incriminating messages on his phone.

In a detailed confession, the man admitted that he maintained two relationships at different periods and failed to fully disclose the truth before marrying his longtime partner in July 2025. He acknowledged that his lack of transparency and emotional indecision have now resulted in serious consequences.

The Beginning of Two Relationships

According to his account, he met his now-wife in 2019, and they began dating in 2020. In February 2022, he relocated to Germany to pursue a Master’s degree. Before leaving, he assured her of his commitment and promised marriage. He also encouraged her to return to the College of Nursing to obtain an additional qualification that would improve their prospects of building a life together abroad.

While adjusting to life overseas, he described experiencing academic and social challenges but remained supportive of his partner in Nigeria. However, in September 2022, he met another Nigerian woman in Germany—a pharmacist who had been living there for two years. She offered to assist him with his professional registration process.

As their friendship developed, the woman expressed romantic interest. Rather than firmly rejecting her advances, he admitted that he allowed the relationship to progress. Although he still had a girlfriend in Nigeria, he kept the new connection as an “option,” rationalizing that circumstances might eventually determine which relationship would endure.

Emotional Entanglement and Secrecy

The man confessed that he eventually began dating the woman in Germany without informing her about his existing relationship back home. He claimed he believed that, over time, one of the relationships would naturally fade. Despite recognizing the moral conflict, he allowed his emotional attachment to deepen.

In 2024, during a visit to Nigeria, he became convinced that his original partner was committed to their future together. Upon returning to Germany, he began distancing himself from the second woman. Ending the relationship proved difficult, as he admitted they had grown emotionally close. Nevertheless, he stated that he ultimately severed ties before his wedding in July 2025.

Despite the breakup, they continued occasional communication. In September 2025, both attended his landlord’s wedding in Germany, where they took a photograph together—an image that would later raise suspicion.

Discovery and Fallout

In February, while visiting Port Harcourt for Valentine’s Day, his wife accessed his phone and discovered the wedding photograph. When questioned, he admitted knowing the woman but had not disclosed the full extent of their past relationship.

As he attempted to explain, a new message from the former partner appeared on his phone. The message reflected on their shared past, acknowledged trust issues, and wished him well in his new chapter. It also referenced prior blocking and reconciliation between them.

His wife, devastated by the content, reportedly responded directly from his phone, informing the woman that he was now married and apologizing for the lack of earlier clarity.

A Marriage in Crisis

The man insists that he has not maintained physical contact with the woman since his marriage and claims the relationship has ended. However, he admits he never fully confessed the depth of the involvement. His wife has since recalled periods of emotional distance in 2024 and feels betrayed by the omission.

“I am lost, and I feel like I am losing my wife,” he wrote, seeking advice on how to rebuild trust and salvage the marriage.

The story has ignited widespread online discussion about honesty, emotional infidelity, and the long-term consequences of keeping unresolved romantic ties before marriage.